The other day while on a bike ride Payton came riding by and says "I'm coming in hot!"

Tonight while Payton was going to sleep, she leaned over and out of nowhere says:

"Mommy, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and play with my toys."

The other day I was talking to Payton about starting school. I was asking if she was nervous about anything and she said:

"I'm sad I'm leaving you."

Oh she sure knows how to melt my heart.

Matt and Payton just got done watching wrestling and Matt decided to play wrestle with Payton, basically just tickle her. And while uncontrollably laughing she says:

"Daddy John Cena said 'Don't try this at home."

Payton was taking a shower and wanted to use my shampoo. When she smelled it she said:

"Mommy how can you live with this everyday? It smells so good I want to eat it!"

Tonight while Payton was going to sleep she was trying to tell me what she wanted for breakfast. I wasn't understanding and was getting upset so Payton said:

"If you're not understanding me, we can just talk about it in the morning."

I was talking to Matt on the phone and apparently Payton was getting very hungry. When I got off the phone with Matt Payton said:

"Mommy did you hear what I said?"

I replied with "You want Honey Nut Cheerios."

"Yeah! You must be blind or something."

I am pretty sure she meant deaf, but either way apparently I was not moving fast enough for her.

The other night Payton went poop and I asked her how it went. This was her answer:

"Do you really want the answer to that question. Well here it is, BIG!"

Payton came up with a new joke, here it is:

"LOL, holla."

Yeah that is the joke no punch line just that. It does manage to make me laugh every time.

Here is how a conversations with Matt and Payton went down tonight:

Matt- "Maybe I should just punch you in the face." I know that sounds bad, but it's just play.

"It starts tomorrow." Payton said very serious like.

"What." Matt replied very confused.

"The fight!" Payton replied very confidently.

Payton was explaining the dynamics of a marriage to us today. Apparently this is how it goes:

"The wife says that they should go somewhere but the man says no and so the wife says that's fine but we are going anyways."

Sounds about right to me.

Payton is a major nail biter. Today she got the better of herself and made her finger nail bleed. She pretty much thought she was dying and I couldn't do anything but laugh. She didn't think it was very funny and had a major melt down which included some of the following outbursts, all as crying uncontrollably.

"It's not funny!!"

"I'm going to lose all my blood, then you won't be laughing!"

"You need to take better care of me more!"

"You are NOT calling anyone!!!" This was as she saw me calling her dad.

Payton has been kind of sick for the past few days so I haven't let her have cereal for breakfast. She obviously really wants some cereal. So today she said:

"If my tummy doesn't feel sick or yucky tomorrow..."

"You get cereal with milk" I interupted

"Yep. Then congratulations to me!"

Payton's new reply to just about any event is:

"Oh man, I didn't see that coming."

Payton was looking through some books that we got from the library when she saw one of Matt's that was an actual reading book, not just a picture book. She said:

"Daddy why do you have a reading book? Are you going to learn how to read?"

Payton and I were supposed to go have fun today but I woke up not feeling very well so I told her we wouldn't be going. She said fine. So I brushed it off. Then we came up stairs and she said:

"Mommy did you hear what I said when you said we could go? I said 'Fine'" With a huge sigh and shoulder shrug. Then she went on to say: "It kind of breaks my heart."

I was telling Payton that something was super old to which she said:

"What, from like the '80's?"

Matt had a late night at work last night so Payton didn't get to see him. So this morning I heard her wake up and walk up and down the stairs a couple times. Then she came in and asked where her daddy was. I told her he was at work. She looked up with tears in her eyes and voice crackling and said:

"Is he ever coming home?"

Payton was hopping around on one foot, I asked her why. She said

"I'm training."

I'm not sure for what but o.k.

Payton was playing Angry Birds on Matt's iPod touch when she said:

"Mommy I've got to tell you something. Angry Birds is amazing!"

Payton and I were talking about it being Christmas eve. She said:

"Then tomorrow is Christmas, and what's the day after that? Christmas After."

Payton's new thing when I tell her something is:

"I was thinking that in my head."

Payton and I were talking about her loose teeth, yeah she already has some loose teeth. At which point the conversation turned to what the tooth fairy will give her. I told her some money. She asked how much and I said I didn't know. She said:

"What like 40 grand."

The tooth fairy loves her but not that much.

Today we were discussing looking through Paytons toys tomorrow to get rid of some to which she said:

"But tomorrow is my birthday. And I don't have to do anything on my birthday."

Today talking about Payton's up coming birthday Payton said to me:

"Mommy I bet when I turn 5 I'm going to be like 'What! I don't feel like I'm 4 anymore."

I said "Do you think being 5 will feel different?"

She replied "Yeah."

"What do you think it will feel like?" I said. To which she said:

"I don't know like getting a surprise."

Payton and I were talking about animal noises and she asked
"Well how does a pig talk."
I said they oink.
"Do they have teeth?" She then asked.
I said yes, to which she said
"Well if they have teeth then they talk."

We were discussing the trip we took to Disneyland a couple of years ago and Payton was talking about rides she liked and more importantly didn't like. This is what she had to say about the Matterhorn Ride:

"You know the one with the monster with the colored eyes that jumped out. Goodness gracious that was scary."

After asking Payton to find some tape she tells me:

"Mommy I can't catch that high, I'm just tiny you know."

Payton getting ready for bed tells me:

"Mommy I really need to tell you something. I am afraid that there are monsters in my room."

The things she will say to get out of going to bed. She later told me that she knows there is no such thing as monsters.

Payton's new way to start sentences to tell us things she doesn't think we want to hear:

"Sorry I have to say this but...."

I definitely makes it easier to hear.

Today Payton and I were sitting at dinner and she looked at me and said

"Mommy do you know how much I love you? To the moon and back."

It is something I often tell her, and something she often tells me. But today was my birthday and I was feeling a little down so to hear it today was just awesome!

Tonight I was telling Payton to pick up her toys. She looked over at with me a little bit of the devil in her eyes and said:

"Look at me! Look at my face. It's not smiling!!"

Today I was talking to Payton about her wart and what her doctor said to do. She tells me:

"Mommy I don't want to believe my doctor."

I asked Payton if daddy was ready to go for a walk. She said:

"No. He has his panties on. Panties, panties, panties."

Payton walked up to me yesterday and said:

"Mommy you'll never believe this. Daddy is being mean to me."

I am pretty sure he told her to do something.

Payton was getting off my lap the other day and turned around and said:

"Mommy I feel like I'm 5 years old."

For the past couple of weeks we have been blaming Payton of peeing on the floor in the bathroom. Come to find out it was one of the kids I watch, which made a lot more sense. Matt didn't know that it wasn't Payton and so today when she went in to go potty Matt told her "not to piss on the floor." She turned to him, gave him the stink eye and said:

"I'm a big girl anyways, I can't piss on the floor!!!"

Payton was sitting in the living room and looked at me and all of a sudden she says:

"Mommy we need to make a decision on dinner."

"O.k. what are you thinking?" I say.

"Well I was thinking Panda Express." she says.

To which I say "Well I was thinking we are eating at home."

"Mommy; how about Del Taco. I know it's your favorite."

Payton and I had a picnic at the park the other day and while we were eating I asked her if she wanted to go play after she ate. Her response surprised me:

"I don't think so mommy, I woke up super early this morning and I am tired."

We were asking Payton if she wanted to go do something today and she said:

"No I think I just want to stay here and relax before my tee ball game."

At the water park I asked Payton if she wanted to go on another slide, which she was not too keen with, so after a few seconds of thinking she told me:

"Mommy I don't think so, I am really really tired and I have had a rough day."

Payton was walking into our bathroom and must have had some kind of realization and said:

"This bathroom looks really dingy."

We went to the water park today and as Matt and Payton were floating down the lazy river Payton looked at Matt and said:

"That food smells very good."

I guess someone was hungry.

Payton was playing with some little dolls the other day and I heard her say:

"No! Santa save us from the snowman."

Kind of random but funny.

Payton was looking at one of my old year books. She saw a picture of me and said:

"Mommy was a blonder."

After Payton's dance recital we were trying to figure out where to go to eat. Payton says

"I was thinking welcome to Chili's"

I guess she thinks of things by their commercial, good job t.v. advertisements, a job well done.

Matt asked Payton to go and get him his phone from downstairs. She stood there for a second and in the most direct voice I have ever heard her have she said:

"Daddy you need to get off your ass."

The other day Payton walks up to me and says

"Mommy I need to tell you something."

I say "What honey."

She says:

"I just want you to be my best friend forever."

It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

I was trying to get some sticky stuff off of Payton's knuckle today and she said:

"Oww Mommy you are hurting my hand knee."

Apparently that is what knuckles are to her. Hand Knees.

Payton wanted Matt to come to here she said"

"Daddy hurry."

Then after a couple seconds she said:

"No, actually run!"

The other night we were at dinner and I asked Payton if she had to go potty, probably for the 20th time. Her reply:

"Mommy, do you need to go potty? Do you need to go potty? Do you need to go potty?"

Matt was trying to get Payton to eat, she went in got a bite and came back and said:

"I got a bite in my mouth now, SUCKA!"

If she didn't watch wrestling with Matt then she wouldn't even know these words, so I can't feel bad for him.

Payton was standing in front of our fish tank and in her deepest, most daddy like voice she says:

"Hey, hungry guys?"

We were sitting in the living room and out of nowhere Payton says:

"Only sandwiches have lettuce."

I then asked her what she meant and she replied:

"Sandwiches have lettuce and tomatoes."

Random.

Payton wanted to go for a bike ride this morning. It snowed last night. When I told her this she said:

"Mommy, just get some snow tires."

Payton fell asleep on our drive, at about 6:30 p.m. I woke her up and said:

"Payton you need to wake up so that you can go to sleep tonight."

To which she replied:

"I want to go tired now."

She then fell asleep about two seconds later.

Driving home from Moab today Payton was getting tired. She looks up at me and says:

"Mommy will you be quiet please?!"

I asked "Why?"

"I'm trying to go to sleep!" she relpied.

A minute later Matt was talking and she said:

"Daddy, just please!"

Then Matt and I started laughing she shot us a dirty look and said:

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LAUGHING ABOUT!!!!"

The other day Payton and I were picking out a card for her two year old cousin's birthday. I was looking at the cards and Payton said to me:

"Mommy, he is just little so I think he needs a little card."

Payton found a pair of binoculars last night and she walked up to me and said:

"Mommy look at my woggle goggles."

Which is now what I will call binoculars.

I told Payton to pick up her mess, she replied to me:

"I think daddy can."

Payton busted out a little free-style rap today and it went like this:

"Do I look like a cow? I don't even know your name!"

Yet again I was telling Payton that it was too cold to go outside. She simplified things this time and said:

"Umm, jackets."

Payton wanted Matt to get her something to drink. So she walked up to him face to face and says:

"Daddy. Look at me. Sunny D."

Direct, straight to the point and a lot like her mommy.

Payton was riding on her bike and ran into a pile of wood, which prompted this reply:

"Oh sorry wood, blah, blah, blah."

We had a surprise for Payton this weekend and all week long she was trying to figure out what it was. The other day she said:

"Mommy what is the name of my surprise?"

Like that wasn't the same as me telling her what it is.

Payton just sitting here after waking up says:

"Mommy feel my muscles."

I felt them and said "Wow you are strong."

Nonchalantly Payton replies "Yep."

Payton wanted to go outside but I said "It's too cold to go outside."

"We can put on coats!"

Well duh to me, I guess I never thought of that.

Payton and I were talking about a cartoon that she wanted to watch and I told her it wasn't on. To which she replied:

"You need to Netflix it then."

I asked Payton to get out of the kitchen. She looked up at me with her cute puppy dog eyes and said:

"But Mommy, I thought I was your favorite."

Payton saw a VHS tape and asked:

"What is that??"

Matt- "It's a movie."

Payton- "Well how does it play in a DVD player?"

Just a sign of the times, this is the generation where VHS tapes become a foreign object that they know NOTHING about.

I told Payton I was going to kick her butt, she said to me:

"Yeah, Call your mom!"

Sitting in a room looking cute as ever Payton says:

"I have a great family."

Any time we get into the car to go somewhere we hear one of two things:

"What miles is it to ____?"

        or

"How do we get there? Do we go down, over that way, over that way and then we are there?"

Matt was talking about needing to find someone to shave his head to which Payton says:

"I can!"

Now that would be an awesome hair cut.

Payton likes to tell stories, mainly about things that happened in the past. These days the majority of her stories start with:

"Back when I was 3"

Keep in mind, she is 4.

I was trying to do Payton's hair and she looked at me so sure of herself and said:

"Seriously mommy, it's not going to happen."

Today we were talking about personal space and tonight Payton was sitting on my lap and hopped off and said:

"Mommy I need a lot of time alone."

Then she trotted off downstairs.

Payton- "I know what it is, you are jealous."

Me- "What am I jealous of?"

Payton- "Me. That's why you want me to pick up my toys."

Today I was telling Payton to quit wrestling with a baby to which she replied-

"Geeze, how many times are you going to talk."

Watching Vampire Diaries Payton says to me-

“Mommy is this the Vampire Diarrhea's?”

Payton looking at my bottle of pink lemonade

“Mommy I know you have pink and I know you have lemon, but what is nade?”

“You’re a mean mean mommy and that’s why I don’t like you!!”

She doesn’t throw fits too often but this fit made me both really sad and also laugh hysterically all at the same time.

Payton after playing with her new toys on Christmas

“Mommy is Santa going to come in the morning again?”

Mommy- “No Santa only comes on Christmas.”

Payton- “Well I want it to be Christmas in the morning.”

If only I had that power.

Payton- "Mommy I'm going potty. Number 1 and number 3."

Me- "What is number 3?"

Payton- "Washing my hands."

By the sounds of her answer I was OBVIOUSLY supposed to know this.

"Mommy you're so lovable."

This absolutely melts my heart.

Payton- "Mommy I want something to eat."

Me- "Well are you hungry?"

Payton- "No I'm just treaty."